Sometimes, you need to be selfish
by Kisu-Fu
Summary: Hana and Rukia looking for Hana's lost Zanpakutou. Contains Spoiler for the HM arc.


_For the fanfiction exchange with Fire Nerbil ♥ _

_She prompted "Selfishness", but somehow, it turned out ways different again XD' And since I love her Hana&Hisagomaru conversations, I decided, to make something Hisa-Related. Spoilers for the HM arc... and excuse my bad english please xD'_

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"Hanatarou, do you really think we'll find it here?"

"Well, at least I hope so... thanks for coming with me, Rukia-San..."

"Someone has to do that... you don't want to get lost again, do you?"

"N-naah...", a nervous laugh.

It had been only a few hours since Rukia had come back to life, and now it was, once again, her turn to look after the last person she had expected _here_, Yamada Hanatarou.

She didn't ask what he was doing here or why he ended up with her, since he wouldn't answer properly anyway. All she knew was that he was here, and that he had managed to lose his Zanpakutou _again._

"Why do you always lose it? You know that this sword is as important as your life?!"

"I... I know...", he looked down, obviously having a bad conscience. "It's just that... I was all alone, and... I wanted to find Kuchiki-Taichou soon, and... and..."

He started pressing his fingertips against each other. As usual. She was convinced he was doing this on purpose. Every time he did this, nobody could ever be mad with him. _Nobody_.

"-sigh- Alright, alright, c'mon. It has to be somewhere.." _-As long as no Arrancar has found it yet,_ she added in thoughts. If this ever happened, they'd all be doomed.

Hanatarou seemed to think the same, but her encouraging words made his face lighten up a little.

"You're right, Rukia-San!"

"That's a good boy."

He's just like a child. That was what she had thought about him when they met for the first time.

Hueco Mundo's not a place for a child. That was what she had thought when he popped up here.

- - -

It had been only a few hours after his arrival in Hueco Mundo.

After managing to get cut by Rukia-San, who had actually been the main reason for begging Kuchiki-Taichou to take him with him, and getting healed by his Fukutaichou, he finally noticed that Hisagomaru had disappeared! Immediately, he began rummaging his bag, but it was definitely not there...

Oh well, at least it was Rukia-San who helped him searching it. She couldn't remember a single thing of what happened, and he wasn't able to tell her the true reason for him to be bandaged.

It had been a long time since they had talked to each other, and it felt good hearing her voice again... although she was mainly worrying about Abarai-Fukutaichou and Ichigo-San.

Since his arrival, he had been able to sense tracks of their reiatsu. They were both apparently fighting, but they would be okay... they had to be.

_I'm gonna look after Abarai-Fukutaichou as soon as I've found Hisagomaru-San... I promised Rikichi-San to._

Suddenly, he remembered his friend's face when he caught Hana trying to leave without saying good-bye. He had never seen him this desperate before, and he never wanted to see him like this again... if he was able to leave Hueco Mundo alive.

_Mmhhh, what am I thinking?! Of course I will... _

"Hanatarou, are you alright?", Rukia's voice suddenly ripped him out of his thoughts.

"What? Oh, yeah, sure, sorry... I was just in thoughts.. I'm sorry, Rukia-San."

He started smiling again. Just being with her gave him hope... he simply didn't have to think about what was probably going to happen.

"Hey, isn't that your sword over there?", she suddenly pointed at a small, silvery-shining spot a few meters in front of them.

"It is!! I-I'm sorry, Rukia-San, please let me...", he hurried off and left her behind, with a puzzled, but also amused expression on her face.

As soon as he bowed down, he heard a pretty familiar voice inside of his head.

_Oh, so you've finally come, huh?!_

"Y-yes, I'm sorry, Hisagomaru-San...", he murmured.

_You're sorry? You're SORRY? You know what could've happened while I was lying around?!_

"Y-yes, but.."

_Don't give me that 'Y-yes, but-" crap, you're always doing that! When will you finally grow up!?_

"I'm trying already, but.. but..."

_Well, then DO IT! Could you please stop being so selfish?! Just because YOU wanted to save Rukia-Chan..._

"Sh-she could've died", his voice sank with every word he said.

_And? You're a shinigami, remember? You ought to be used to see people dying!_

"But not Rukia-San..."

_You weren't able to do anything anyway, were you? In the end, it was that Kuchiki guy and Isane-Chan who-_

And then, it stopped; Hana felt Rukia's hand on his shoulder.

"What's wrong? You look terrible!"

"Rukia-San...", he looked up, trembling, with a horrible, whiny face.

"H-hey!! Hanatarou?! What's the matter? What happened?!"

"I'm sorry I'm no big use..."

"Oh, yes you are!"

_"_B-but... Rukia-San... am I selfish?"

"What?! You're quite the least selfish person I know-"

"But I.. I wasn't allowed to come here, and still I came because I wanted so save y-...", he stopped hastily and looked away.

"I mean, b-because I wanted to help everyone.."

For a short while, neither of them said a word... until Rukia finally sighed once more and then looked straight into his face.

"Look. I don't want to argue with you or something, so just believe me when I say you aren't? You even need to be a little more selfish from time to time. Otherwise, your friends don't know what you want, right?", she ended and patted his head like a puppy's one.

"Rukia-San...", Hana rubbed his eyes heavily, he didn't want her to see him crying.

"Now come on, we gotta go back and find Nii-Sama and your Fukutaichou... and then we've gotta help Renji and the others, kay?"

"Sure, Rukia-San! ... thank you, Rukia-San", he added quietly, not for her to hear.

Even when they were all probably going to die... at least he was able to help her now.

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_The end :D I hope you liked it, although it got all Shoujo-Kitschy again TT Sorry!!_


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